When is it going to be my turn?

When I feel like giving up, I have a million options, things and people to keep me going. But when I keep going, I have a million people and things keeping me down.

I want to keep going.
I want to be someone.
I keep pushing myself when I don't want to anymore.
When I want to say, FUCK IT.
When I hate everyone.
When I feel like the next time someone talks to me, I want to punch them square in their mouths.


I haven't felt this angry in my life before.
I wonder if coming into the military was the right move for me.
I have a son, I'm divorced and unhappy.
I don't get it. Where did I go wrong?
Why me god?


What did I do to deserve this life?

My life mantra of living with no regrets... I just can't justify it at times.

Hammerhead.

"I am the one
Camouflage and gunsRisk my life
To keep my people from harm

Authority
Vested in me
I sacrifice
With my brothers in arms

Through this doorway
What's on the other side
Never knowing
Exactly what I'll find
Locked and loaded
Voices screaming
Let's go!
Come on do it
Here we go!

Oh, take a life
Ten others may live
Oh, that's just the way it goes
Oh, shut my eyes
It hammers in my head
Where it'll end
Nobody knows

Oh, take a life
Ten others may live
Oh, that's just the way it goes
It's playing over and over in my head
Where it'll end
Nobody knows

Stay the course
Reasonable force
I believe
I serve a greater good

Smoke and dust
Enemies are crushed
Nothing left
Where a man once stood

Through this doorway
What's on the other side
Never knowing
Exactly what I'll find
Locked and loaded
Voices screaming
Let's go!
But I'm just doing what I'm told

Oh, take a life
Ten others may live
Oh, that's just the way it goes
Oh, shut my eyes
It hammers in my head
Where it'll end
Nobody knows

Oh, take this life
Ten others may live
Oh, that's just the way it goes
It's playing over and over in my head
Where it begins
And where it'll end
Nobody knows

Bang, bang, it hammers in my head
Bang, bang, it hammers in my head
Bang, bang, it hammers in my head
In my head, in my head

Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I fear no evil for Thou art with me
Locked and loaded
Gonna find my truth
Now I'm busting through
All hell breaks loose

And you can all hide behind your desks now
And you can cry, 'teacher come help me!'
Through you all
My aim is true!
My
My aim is true!

My aim is true"

For Japan.

In the land where the sun rises, tragedy struck. Thousands died or disappeared and homes and lives ruined. Millions dislocated from their normal environments. Man-made plants turned to vicious monsters now causing panic in the world. How does a civilization continue? Faith and hope would be a miniscule part of the mindset of the Western world, where greed and survival would take over in such a tragedy. I commend the Japanese at being armed with peace to teach an entire globe the meaning of brotherhood and sisterhood in assisting each other with the damning effects of an earthquake, tsunami, and radiation exposure. I continue to keep you all in my mind and heart and hope others do as well.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Never in a million years...

I never thought in a million years this would happen to me. I think he's great. Let's see what happens. :)

My life now.

Logan Gabriel was born September 20, at 14 minutes past midnight. I love my son. It's an overwhelming feeling though. I want to provide the best for my son. I hope I can do it. I'm scared and nervous and excited.

Just curious.

WHY are people so messed up?
WHY do they hurt each other, with poles and make them eat feces and vomit and lick urine?
WHY do they lie?
WHY do they hit defenseless old women and men? WHAT about babies for that matter?
WHY? Can someone explain that to me? It's disgusting to hear about and I am sick of it.

DirecTV.

Out of the question. I didn't know they were satelite... :'[